You know what, fuck this post. Maybe women wouldn’t feel the need to other themselves if so many enjoyable, genderless activities weren’t so heavily gendered to begin with. Do you know why a woman would feel the need to say, “Yes, I’m a girl and I play video games”? It’s because she or other women she knows have had their hobbies and interests invalidated based solely upon their gender. So much of this leads to woman internalizing this casual sexism, which is the most insidious part of the whole thing. Girls strive to differenciate themselves from being “girls”. ‘Yes I’m a girl, but I’m not like those OTHER girls. I’m cool, because I like guy things.’ So why do women other themselves this way? Why do they form little groups on Facebook for their interests, explicitly announcing that despite the hurdle of being a woman, they’ve overcome and somehow gotten to enjoy this activity? Because “girl” has become shorthand for “shitty” on such a grand scale that it’s embarrassing. Feminine is embarrassing. Feminine is weak. Feminine doesn’t play Counter Strike or enjoy stupid wrestling or burp loudly in public because it’s funny. Both men and women write off a girl as trying to be a special snowflake for being proud of belching in public, but here is the sad truth: belch in public as a girl and you get flack for it. You get surprise. Distaste. Most likely you get admiration from male friends, because you did something as gross and masculine as release noisy air from your dumb food hole, but are still so adorable! It becomes a badge of honor; you’re one of the cool girls who is like a guy. You internalize it. It becomes identity.
When I worked at a comic book shop from the time I was 16 until I turned 22, due to the fact that I FUCKING LOVE COMICS, I would answer the phone and have customers ask me if there were a man there that could answer his comic book questions. This was not an isolated incident. This happened monthly, sometimes weekly. I had boys sit at my counter and make eyes at my stupid pubescent face while telling me how gosh, I wasn’t like other girls. I liked comics and games and could eat a whole package of jerky myself.
That is a huge steaming pile of turds.
Girls are funny and gross and awful and beautiful and ugly and just as diverse as any group of young men. Also? They’re marginalized, fucking fight me on it.
I love video games and I have a vagina, I don’t feel the need to announce this over the head set, no. But you know what? Fuck the people judging girls trying to feel even slightly empowered doing the things pictured above if they feel like it. I’ll bet half of them are women themselves, trying to ‘outbro’ each other. “Vagina award for doing things everyone else does” Fuck you, girls get so much shit for this kind of stuff it’s not even funny. Alluding to things being equal is bullshit.
Seriously, what is this video? This reminds me of that post that was going around tumblr a few months back where a guy walked around the subway with a picture of his ex-girlfriend around his neck on a board, and asked people to help him win her back.
This is not funny or cute. This bullshit might fly in a rom-com, but in real life it’s horrifying. Even if the couple featured they are together in real life, this is still a really harmful thing to make into a commercial. The internet is not your relationship crisis helpline, so let your male privilege and your relationship go. There are other fish in the sea, and maybe once people drop this fucking entitlement complex, they’ll find them. If I did this to a girl, I would completely expect her to slap me in the metaphorical face with a giant restraining order.
Yeeeeep that’s right folks! Doesn’t matter that people are homeless and DYING as long as a certain group within the community gets to marry!!!!
You see, marriage is a magic institution that solves everything!
Hmmm, where have I heard that before?
Glad to know we give a shit about anything useful…
nice to know my personal safety is less important than a couplea dickfarmers w a ring
gettin married would be nice and all but wow no
There’s a difference between a pressing issue and an IMPORTANT issue. A pressing issue is one that is present, and the legislation being supported right now for Marriage Equality rights is pressing! Of course homeless youth are important, of course that matters, but the most PRESENT issue that can have anything done about it is Marriage Equality.
I’m not saying I agree with the results of the poll necessarily; nor do i think that most of the people voting in it recognize the difference between pressing and important. However, I do think that realizing the difference is important.
Part of any push for equality is defeating legislation that removes or prohibits people from rights that shouldn’t be an issue. A solid win in that sphere of politics opens the door for further work to obtain rights and right social injustices such as workplace discrimination and homeless youth.
People are going to vote for Marriage Equality in a poll like this because it is something they feel like they can do something about. It’s something that is in the news; that, as American citizens, they know they can at the very least cast their vote for. How many Americans have any access to, or knowledge of, homeless shelters? How many have any marginal understanding of the adoption system? And yet issues that the majority of LGBT community members have experience with (bullying, workplace discrimination, the denial of marriage rights) are topping the charts because they’re more informed on it!
Not only that, but I’m willing to bet that far more LGBT members are employed in capacities that enable them to ameliorate those issues. Every adult, American, LGBT member has the right to vote, so something they’ve seen legislation on is relevant to them and within their power to influence. Every employed LGBT member is part of a workplace environment; furthermore, there is of course a certain percentage of that population who are employed in a managerial capacity! These people have the capacity to influence that sphere of their life. People of the LGBT community are just people, they live in neighborhoods, have siblings, lived life and most likely suffered through bullying in high school. Painful firsthand, and secondhand, experience with that at the very least makes the need for improvement in that sphere very pressing.
I don’t think this poll is intended to discourage people, I think taking that message from it is rather short-sighted. Take a little while to think through the motivations behind voting patterns like this.
Read this. As far as presence goes, I would grudgingly agree with the top 3.
As you can see on the box, you take exactly one pill per day. To make sure it works, you need to take one pill every day at the same time, or it stops working. You take only one pill, and you keep taking them regardless of what you…
We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the…
is gender variance much more common among FAAB individuals in proportion to MAAB individuals or is it just much more visible???? I’m really curious???
same. so uh… yeah.
there’s not much research on this kind of stuff, sadly. i’m a sociology major and i’ve taken a lot of sexuality and gender classes and i always end up asking and discussing with my professors this kind of question. think about it, masculinity in and of itself is largely spread across the media as being this thing that should never be comparred to femininity. being called a woman or feminine is the worst thing you could do a man. of course, this is how it is marketed and isn’t the truth in the least. we all know that being a man is what you make of it. it’s a lot easier for a woman to act “manly” and be less criticised than it is for a man being feminine. feminine men get a lot of shit from their peers and from society. this is in no way saying men deserve more rights, as they have all of them. this is just a sociological explanation as to why gender variance among MAABs is less visible. i hope i made some sense!
no i understand entirely why gender variance is a lot more visible i just wonder if it is actually more common proportionately
it’s really interesting and I wish there were more material on it!
if i find more material i will definitely post it. it’s a growing field of study as trans* becomes more visible in general. i’ll find some articles i’ve collected over the last few years and send them to you. i wish there was more material as well! take some gender and sexuality classes if you can, they’re really great at exposing you to academic research like this.
I have a friend who’s MAAB genderqueer, and I know it’s definitely been more difficult for them to dress more feminine/butch girl because of their job and society. That being said, I know quite a few of my friends are really into Kate Bornstein, so maybe you should look into her work if you’re curious!
I see a strong, capable woman who kicks ass and takes names.
I see a woman who doesn’t feel the need to abandon her femininity in order to wield authority and command respect.
I see a woman who may look young for her age and possibly had to fight that misconception since the beginning of her military career, but overcame that by being an unrepentant badass who gets the job done.
I see character.
She’s Commander Fucking Shepard. She does what she wants and doesn’t afraid of anything.
What I don’t see is a reason to complain about any of this. Those that dislike it are probably going to play a Custom!Shep anyway.
People have explained it. The reaction isn’t a result of femmephobia.
And the fact that most people will play their custom Sheps doesn’t really change any of it. That’s a point that’s also been covered. Yukidama’s posts/reblogs and replies from yesterday would be a good source for these explanations.
My only real complaint with these designs is that there’s no way the hairstyles are in keeping with military regulation. Ashley’s makeup probably is, maybe less eye shadow. Shepard would likely be asked to choose a softer shade of lipstick.
I looked at the reblogs. Maybe I missed the informative ones. idk.
The main issues being discussed are the quality of the detail and rendering in comparison with the default male Shepard and the fact that the Mass Effect team has made a big deal about adding “sex appeal” to basically all the female characters without it being motivated by character agency. Default characters are just made to serve as placeholders, but the character, the detail and rendering of the appearances of Garrett and Marian Hawke and John Shepard (and Jane Shepard in ME and ME2) are on-par with that of the other established characters in the games. This is why so many people play the defaults and view them as characters in themselves—not merely placeholders.
Compare:
Also, the makeup is absolutely hideous but that’s a personal issue.
I normally don’t jump into Shepard/Mass Effect cans of worms, but I’d like to point out that VanderShep is an underwear model so there is some level of “sex” appeal there.
I think the major problem in all this is not that she came out looking like this. Nor that she’s wearing makeup, because women can kick ass in makeup in a way that has nothing to do with “sex” appeal. Although it looks horrible horrible like goth fashion and bad pin-ups vomited on her face.
The problem is how the whole process of choosing a face for Shepard, and a hair color, and then this “FemShep Friday” business… it all smacks of her being a pig gussied up for show. Or in this case, for greater sales. It’s not all that different from the tack DC Comics used to draw in new readers, and we all know how that went. I’m just tired of seeing people “catering” to women, rather than treating them like actual people instead of a statistic, and then making it the same old straight male gaze shit.
That, at heart, is bigger than a bit of eyeshadow or the cut of her hair.
"I swear to god I will lose my mind if I hear the “sex sells” fallacy one more time. Sex does not sell. If sex sold, we would see penises where we see boobs. Naked men would be on everything that naked women are on. Sex isn’t what they’re selling you. They’re selling you an impossible, pornographically fueled misogynistic idea of the perfect woman."
A fantasy author highlighting what’s so ridiculous with “sexy” poses on the cover of urban fantasy books by poking fun at them and trying to imitate them. Great stuff.
When feminists (regardless of gender) call you out for posting something fucked-up, it’s not an affront to you, it’s a call to be a better man. GET OVER IT
specifically its not an affront to your GENDER, its a correction to you as an individual. lets not even say “be a better man,” its be a “better homo sapien”
Implying it’s not OK to be a man, but OK to be a feminist. Neat.
Context kids.
Sooshi’s right, because while this is something I view a lot coming from men, that certain doesn’t mean they’re the only people who get called out for saying something discriminatory/anti-feminist. People of all genders are capable of making statements supporting internalized anti-feminism, and part of stopping that is to step back, analyze what would cause you to say something like that, and pledge to be a better human being.
Because, let’s be honest, slut-shaming, the virgin myth, the glass ceiling, and other such concepts don’t just hurt women/femmes, they hurt people of all genders and therefore, all of humanity.
Auntie Kate (Bornstein) didn’t quite save my life, but she came damn close. The copy of Hello Cruel World that rests on my bookshelf is heavily dog-eared; I have donated copies to friends and to the UU youth group’s bookshelf.
As you might expect from this introduction, I’m about to criticize…
Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
We’re looking for more information about this. Does anyone know if this is currently being aired on television? Or did they pull it after realizing how terrible it is? I’m hoping for the latter.
HOLY. FUCK.
What the hell did I just watch?
Honey, I’ve worked grocery retail, and I can tell you very rarely did a single, 18-to-34-year-old man buy twelve packs of soda. If he did, he was usually with his wife or girlfriend.
I see what you’re trying to do, and you just failed in the most sexist and obnoxious way possible.
Did you think that since people think diet sodas aren’t manly, you had to be worse than every Bud, Axe, and Gillette commercial out there airing during football games combined? Oh, I forgot: in your mind, the only people controlling the pursestrings are the emasculated manbabies who go in for this kind of crap. Fine, you can have them. I never needed Dr. Pepper anyway.
